♥ Sunday, October 28, 2007 3:02 AM
hey.
these few days ive been feeling alright.
just that i cannot forget things that are happening at school.
so when am i going to know whats on brother paul's mind.
anyone?
please tell me.
i cannot take this stress.
i may seem like im happy.
i may seem like ive forgotten.
i may seem like i dont care.
i may seem like im in peace.
i may seem like im okay.
but the truth is, im so not.
im still worrying day after day.
SIGH.
oh wells.
pw pw pw.
it's coming to an end.
finally.
i hope i get like a B?
friday mrs toh had another op dry run with us.
and she said i had a good delivery.
(:
big improvement from the first day.
but i need to lengthen my script.
shall do it tomorrow.
good luck to me for pw!!
and for the whole of 1t35. (:
love you guys.
i cry when i think about leaving you guys. ):
chinese As on monday.
what crap.
ahhhh.
how do you get the mood to study when youre not sure if you have a school to attend to next year?
wahlao.
i hate this la.
thats for not studying people.
dont regret.
alright.
sleep time.
night people.
<3
♥ Friday, October 26, 2007 2:24 AM
sigh.
im going to miss t35.
):
they were so sweet.
they bought a cake today to celebrate my birthday.
belated though.
the surprise was quite successful because i didnt suspect anything.
heh.
well done well done.
anyways.
it was OP today.
mrs toh didnt come.
so another teacher took over.
and she's so much better because she cares to give comments.
but our class being so special would have to go back to school tomorrow because mrs toh wants an extra OP with us.
just because she wasnt free today.
argh.
she spoils my sleep time. ):
HMPF.
alright.
thats all.
got to go sleep!
thanks t35 once again.
i love you all. (:
<3
♥ Tuesday, October 23, 2007 12:28 AM
happy birthday to me.
wells.
i dont know whether im happy or sad.
probably sad.
but thanks jude for being the first to celebrate it with me. (:
it was nice.
thanks everyone for wishing.
and some even singing.
so sweet.
thanks so much.
LOVE ALL OF YOU! (:
♥ Monday, October 22, 2007 11:10 PM
didnt get to meet brother paul.
although i am damn scared, i wanted to get things done today.
but seems like he's not ready.
we'll just have to wait.
ahhh. i hate this.
):
im sad.
im depressed.
thank you guys for being there for me.
nat, for being in the same boat and comforting me.
eun, being there like always. i love my mole.
phebe lizzy meishan val mel natgay christi natsoh wanli janelle jojo jeff andrew brian jianwei hansheng and all. practically my whole class. it hurts to leave you guys. but i love you all.
justin, for baking me cookies and yiting for following him to deliver them.
mandy and gabriel to be there to listen.
lanz talking to me now and then.
alph! for being the best buddy ever since ive know him.
jude, for checking in on me every now and then. thank you so much. i appreciate it the most.
emy for writing in an email to be there like always. bestest sis ive ever got. LOVE.
yow for always being the best girlfriend. making jokes to put a smile onto my face at this point of time.
cheong for helping me to think positive.
denis for being a listening ear.
gentleman and daddy for being the best family to me.
shouzi for helping me bring my mind away from the troubles and calming me.
boss for taking me on rides. along with mrs boss. heh.
bernie melinda and all for reading my blog and worrying for me.
liling jiejie of course is the bestest i can ever get. she helped me feel better last night. she's even willing to help me in some way. *im not saying!* hehe. jiejie i love you. you've never failed to be there. really.
meihua jiejie for making everything sound the best like always.
and lastly my cousins.
especially patricia jiejie. i love you. and im sorry for upsetting you alright.
char. same there. i love you.
pris too. love love. all the best for As. (:
alright.
i just pray for the best now. (:
♥ Saturday, October 20, 2007 2:59 PM
brother paul spoke to the 43 of us yesterday.
in a way telling us to go to poly.
because it may be better suited for us.
argh.
this sucks.
i hate this feeling.
like seriously.
):
whyyyy.
why must i go through all these in my life.
i hate this okay.
):
my father dont care.
my mum dont know anything.
my brother will just die if i told him.
howww.
monday im going to speak to brother paul.
all by myself.
because no one in the family is willing to give me support at all.
they will all just take me as a failure.
a major one.
they'll just leave me alone to suffer on my own.
there's no one on the earth now that knows how i feel.
not even the other 42 people.
because we all have different families.
and probably mine is one that doesnt give a damn about anything.
i will fight on my own.
i will do what im supposed to do.
i will.
it's just a terrible time of my life now.
it's really disgusting.
and i cant believe im going through this.
it's horrible.
really really bad.
but no one understands.
):
♥ Thursday, October 18, 2007 7:30 PM
over.
it's all over.
three Us once again.
all h2.
wth is wrong with me can someone tell me?
why am i doing so badly.
i hate myself.
i wanna kill myself.
and im serious.
jumping off the building, taking pills and charging for cars came across my mind for the past few days.
many many times.
im scared but i really dont know why im thinking this way.
this is so NOT alicia.
the alicia i knew dont give up so easily.
everything she'll see as blessing in disguise.
killing herself is the last thing she'll ever do.
guess this time it's really really bad.
sigh.
not only i feel horrible for having to leave the class.
but my "wonderful" daddy dont understand a fucking thing about me and the jc life.
all he ever knows is to scold and nag and all.
i really never meet my church friends for very long already.
why dont you believe me.
i really tried my best.
but i had not enough time.
is it my fault that im a slow learner?
is it my fault that i am stupid?
i told you many times that maybe retaining isnt really a bad thing afterall.
it may do me good.
maybe i just need three years to complete my Alevels?
all this must have happened for a reason.
right GOD?
i pray and pray. but the result is still like that.
it must be your will.
right?
why is all these happening to me now?
why?
i cant handle stress.
im weak.
im upset.
im lost.
im broken.
i lost my mind.
i feel so alone. ):
what am i supposed to do now? ):
♥ Monday, October 15, 2007 1:42 PM
it's raining.
):
i used to like rainy days.
especially when im sleeping.
but now, the rain makes me feel sad.
i dont know whats happening.
the world seems to be crashing down on me.
):
i have been feeling so depressed these few days.
i go out everyday to make myself feel better.
but its not of any use. ):
AHHHH!
i hate my life now.
why must there be promos?
why must there be so many problems at home?
why are all my friends feeling so depressed these days?
argh.
life sucks.
i dont feel like blogging anymore.
bye.
):
♥ Sunday, October 14, 2007 2:52 PM
hey.
hmmm.
got back maths.
kinda depressing.
i got like a U.
): ): ):
im so going to retain la.
oh mann.
GOD please help.
):
cried the entire afternoon in school already.
so sad la. ):
and like open house was like so boring.
so little people came la.
i saw trini and ben loncle though.
yupp.
after open house on friday, i went home bathe change and went to SICC.
met my class for dinner.
then bowling and pool.
heh.
qinghao like pain half of everything.
it's his father la.
cannot be him. heh.
then we met this pair of twins.
royce and ryan.
damnn cute.
like 8 years old only.
then they damn pro at pool. they won jianwei and jeffrey.
heh.
damn naughty also.
took my bag to swing when i didnt close it.
then i go carry the boy and swing him.
and he kicked me. now blue black.
damn pain la.
wahlao.
after that we all called like three four cabs.
all left for a different directions.
yupp.
then i left with three others.
watched my resident evil 1 & 2 at night.
haha.
nice nice.
but i realise all the endings like shit.
yesterday went to meet some old friends.
then went for novena and mass.
and dinner at like orchard tower.
tomyum!
heh thai food.
then went to look at trannys. (:
hahaha.
watched chuck and larry in the night.
then home sweet home.
supposed to do pw today.
but didnt in the end.
cause phebe not feeling well.
and then i suddenly got relatives out from malaysia.
so ya.
decided to do online instead.
cause tomorrow not many can turn up.
wells.
might have another class dinner tonight.
(:
then maybe meeting gentleman and others!!
(:
okay bye people.
take care.
CHAOS IN MY HOUSE.
WHYY.
more break ups.
):
♥ Friday, October 12, 2007 12:39 AM
wahh.
my chinese like getting worse lehhh.
so annoying. got back promo paper and i got an E! wth.
sighhh.
tomorrow econs.
and im so dead.
i just pray for a subpass la.
highly impossible i guess.
):
i wanna cryyy.
lord pray for me?
i love you jesus. please la... help me..
depressing days of my life now mann.
whyyyy..
sigh.
but i have movies to watch tomorrow!! (:
resident evil 1 & 2.
cause i watch extinction and now i wanna watch the first two. heh.
this is the only thing that i caan smile at.
movies.
away from school work.
):
okay im going to write my diary.
long over due one.
haha.
NIGHT PEOPLE!
<3
so many break ups recently.
so many quarrells.
so many tears.
so many heart aches.
so many misses.
why do we all suffer the same fate in the month of october?
):
♥ Wednesday, October 10, 2007 6:45 PM
depressed.
damn freaking depressed.
teachers have been going through exam answers.
and things arent looking too good.
):
oh mannn.
): ): ): ): ): ): ):
im so worried and scared now.
i dont wanna retain.
or worse, get kicked out. ):
i dont know what to do.
ahhhh.
i feel lost.
someone help!!!
♥ Monday, October 08, 2007 12:05 AM
): ): ):
school's starting tomorrow.
this sucks. ):
i dont wanna get results back. ):
♥ Friday, October 05, 2007 2:23 PM
yay!
it's a holiday today.
hahaha.
okay im going out!
BYE PEOPLE!
<3
♥ 12:34 AM
geog paper was okay.
hopefully i pass la.
but i left the first ten marks blank.
totally cant remember a thing.
):
pray i promote everyone!!!
i love my brother.
he was so nice and comforting.
first time in my life.
i guess im old enough.
thanks korkor.
(i told him i was stressed and scared)
anyways after school, went cine hongkong cafe with t35.
i ate century egg porridge.
not very nice leh the egg. not fresh.
but oh wells. i enjoyed.
then the guys went to play pool.
the girls went shopping.
hahaha.
so fun.
i left them at about 6pm.
went wheelock nokia care.
then taka singtel.
then to eat at east coast lagoon.
then home sweet home.
just bathed out not too long ago.
and im online now!
im so bored at home.
i wanna go out!!!
someone bring me out pleaseeeeee.
haha.
finally i didnt have to study today. feel so relaxed.
but stressed too.
about other stuff.
sighh.
oh wells.
okay got to go sleep.
celebrating friend's birthday tomorrow!!
night people!
BYE.
<3
♥ Wednesday, October 03, 2007 11:59 AM
hello.
wells. ive been studying everyday so no time for this.
anyways monday's chem was oh mannn.
hiya.
never mind.
studied from 1pm to 12am plus on sunday also like no use.
):
i just hope i will promote la okay.
people, pray hard for me. (:
anyways after chem, i went for lunch with some t35 people.
haha.
quite nice ah the jap food. (:
then we played murderer.
after lunch was balls of fury.
wahhhh.
maggie q is damn FREAKING HOT ah!
oh my gosh.
she's the sex!!! haha.
then pool.
then cabbed home.
daddy was flying to italy that night.
and then i study study till 2am plus plus.
heh.
yesterday was the same exact thing.
ate lunch, studied, then had dinner then study. haha.
wah lao.
so boring.
slept at about 2am. (:
okays.
today?
i think its the same thing? haha.
so ya.
going to study now.
BYEEE PEOPLE!
love.
(:
