♥ Thursday, October 18, 2007 7:30 PM
over.
it's all over.
three Us once again.
all h2.
wth is wrong with me can someone tell me?
why am i doing so badly.
i hate myself.
i wanna kill myself.
and im serious.
jumping off the building, taking pills and charging for cars came across my mind for the past few days.
many many times.
im scared but i really dont know why im thinking this way.
this is so NOT alicia.
the alicia i knew dont give up so easily.
everything she'll see as blessing in disguise.
killing herself is the last thing she'll ever do.
guess this time it's really really bad.
sigh.
not only i feel horrible for having to leave the class.
but my "wonderful" daddy dont understand a fucking thing about me and the jc life.
all he ever knows is to scold and nag and all.
i really never meet my church friends for very long already.
why dont you believe me.
i really tried my best.
but i had not enough time.
is it my fault that im a slow learner?
is it my fault that i am stupid?
i told you many times that maybe retaining isnt really a bad thing afterall.
it may do me good.
maybe i just need three years to complete my Alevels?
all this must have happened for a reason.
right GOD?
i pray and pray. but the result is still like that.
it must be your will.
right?
why is all these happening to me now?
why?
i cant handle stress.
im weak.
im upset.
im lost.
im broken.
i lost my mind.
i feel so alone. ):
what am i supposed to do now? ):
